There is an interesting fundamental difference between my husband and me. It is pretty accurately illustrated in the following pictures of the schedule we have been trying to put together to make sure that we both get our time to work out.
Here is the schedule that Luke first wrote up:
and here is the my version of the that same schedule:
Did you notice any differences? I am bit of a planner and somehow I married a man that has trouble planning farther than his next meal.
In his mind even laying out what days we would each be working out was a huge feat. In my mind just knowing the days we would be working out was nowhere near enough information. I need details. Luke’s response to my asking how I would know if he was planning on working out in the morning or at night on any given day was “well if it is Monday and I am already at work and I haven’t worked out yet then I am working out at night that day. “
Um, seriously? Wrong answer, dear. Wrong answer.
While I am planning meals, errands and the like I need to know what I am planning around. Do I need to plan a few more easy meals each week because he is going to come home and workout at night while I make dinner which requires simultaneously cooking and entertaining our daughter? Do I need to make sure that I workout in the evening to make sure that we don’t have any car sharing issues that week? Should I get a kids club membership at the gym for Monkey because I will need to be working out at times when Luke is unavailable to watch her? The list goes on. I need details to function.
Luke likes to handle things as they need to be handled. He likes to think about things as they are happening. He likes to absolutely drive me crazy.
To be fair I drive him crazy with all my planning, questions and sometimes obsessing over things in the distant future. Sometimes though distant to Luke can be as far off as a few days.
I think this is why falling asleep happens so differently for both of us. He literally lays in bed and within a few minutes he is breathing heavy and fast asleep. Meanwhile over on my side of the bed I lay there awake trying to get my brain to stop moving, planning, thinking, obsessing for far too long each night. Sometimes 20-30 minutes. Sometimes hours. He has no need to think about things while trying to fall asleep because he will handle everything that needs to be handled the following day. My planning nature has me thinking about how quickly we can pay off our car, what I am going to feed Monkey for lunch the following day, things I need to get on my next trip to the grocery store, what Christmas gifts I have left to buy. I just can’t help it. I need to plan. I need to be ready. I need to know what to expect.
Honestly though we keep each other balanced he doesn’t allow me to obsess and plan too much and I don’t allow him to forget that just because the mortgage payment isn’t due until the 1st we can’t wait to mail it until the day it is due.
Without intending to we illustrated a part of our personalities for each other on our little 10″ x 5″ dry erase board. My schedule with its am and pm slots and accompanying key, and his plain jane no frills schedule are true representations of ourselves. We had a good laugh after we finished debating why the other person was asking too much of the other. I am always thankful for moments like this when I feel like I get a little reminder that we are separate individuals that despite our differences live happily as a unit. A loving, happy, contented unit.
Ain’t love grand.