Two weeks ago I threw a question out into the internet. Hoping to start some discussion and take a peak into your thoughts.A question of the week, that turned into a question of two weeks. I haven’t forgotten about my promise to answer that very same question. I’ve been stewing and contemplating and trying to figure out how to say what is on my mind and in my heart about this subject.
I have had friendships that seem to float along through time almost as though they have a life of their own. The closeness is always there. Neither side feels neglected if the other doesn’t call for a while. The commitment and love is obvious. The relationship is more that of an old married couple. Comfortable. Easy. Patient.
I have had friendships that play out more like a young couple dating. The love and commitment to each other is constantly being proven or almost demanded. Usually these friendships, while intense and good, run their course and fizzle out. Or sometimes go out with a bang.
I have had friendships that drive me crazy and friendships that make me feel like I am walking on air. Almost glowing inside. Some friendships have lasted years upon years and years while some do not.
In a nut shell I think I have run the gamut in the types of friends category of life.
Friendships take some effort, equal effort. Friendships can have their hard moments. Bumps in road are to be expected but, and I do not say this lightly, there comes a time when I think it is okay to let go of a friendship. Not in a harsh or mean way, not in a way that burns bridges. I am not the same person I was at 12, 16, or even 21 years old. I know and accept that change. Because a friendship flourished in middle school does not mean it will continue to flourish as both parties grow and mature.
I am in no way advocating ending a friendship all willy nilly and on a whim. I am not actually advocating ending friendships in a dead end “it’s over” kind of way either. Ending is a little too final a term for a friendship. I’m advocating knowing what is right for you and going with that. Friendships should ultimately make you happy and feel good.
Obviously they won’t make you feel happy all the time. I know and accept that, but when a friendship reaches a point that it is a constant uphill battle with no end in sight it is, in my opinion, okay to reevaluate and ask yourself if this friendship is doing good things for both sides and if there is likely to be a better time in the future. If not then isn’t it okay to care for someone while letting your relationship with them fade? Wouldn’t this open room fro new relationships or both people that may prove more fulfilling, happy and up lifting?
Not every friendship is going to last a lifetime. It is a reality.
That is just my 2 cents. What do you think? You are welcome and encouraged agree or disagree with me in the comment section. Just be respectful of each other.