Parenting. Is. Scary. I think I tend to be one of those moms who over analyze, worry and plan too much. My worst fear besides what every mother fears the most, is that I will royally screw up my child. Sometimes my power as Mom is intoxicating and exciting, but most of the time it freaks me out, Big time.
Honestly I have been thinking about it a lot lately.
Sometimes I think this general worry over whether I am doing it “right” makes me a good parent. You know, it shows I care and stuff. If I care about how my daughter will turn out then I must at least be on the right track. Right?
I know I make a big deal out of certain things that other parents choose not to worry about.We all do things differently. What makes one concern right and one wrong?
I don’t bathe my kid every night. It just isn’t a concern for me. She gets a bath when she needs one.
I don’t worry about germs too much. She is going to get sick sometimes. It happens.
I do worry about the types of foods and drink she puts in her body. A lot. I personally think filling her with healthy whole foods will help cancel out some of these germs she comes into contact with and maybe the lack of nightly sudsing,
Spreading chemical filled products onto her beautiful, perfect skin or hair or in the areas she spends time does freak me out. Bath shmath. But just mention the words bug spray or Johnson and Johnson near me and watch me quake with fear. Fear!
I guess the point of all this is not to confess my supposed short comings but to remind myself that they are not really shortcomings at all. my shortcomings are just differences in opinion. I will never know if I am doing it right. Because what’s right? Who knows what right is? And if one person does know what right is, can I actually trust them? Probably not. More likely I would roll my eyes and let me cynical side shine. Right is what I make it. Right is what feels best for me and the most important people in my life.And the same thing goes for you and your parenting decisions too.
Now I just need to convince myself that I am not ruining my daughter’s chance at a bright future because I make her sit in her seat at the table during meals instead of one of the adults laps at the table or bouncing around the house as she would prefer. I am not condemning her to a life of emotional issues because I put her in timeout as punishment instead of spending 37 minutes reasoning, discussing and dispensing warnings. I am not depriving her of anything because I want her to eat real food. She will turn out fine without giving her a nightly bath whether she needs it or not. She will be a well adjusted adult even though I feel very strongly she does not need to be entertained every second of everyday.
I know these things. I do. I just can’t help but worry. Madeline is my world and it is hard to live up to expectations of the people around me let alone those of parenting magazines, books and society in general. It doesn’t matter what other people think or say. If they don’t like it they can kindly close their mouths or find the door. Right?
I am a good mom just the way I am.
Trust your instincts, Catherine.
You are doing a good job.
How do you calm your worries over your job as parent?