The other night while out at an event a few friends and I got into a discussion about marriage.
The question posed was this: “What will you tell your daughter, marry for love or marry for money?”
Well, I blurted out love. Actually it went more like this, Love(!) of course(!).
I married for love. I loved Luke and knew that I wanted to spend forever with him. I love him more today then I did yesterday and I know I will love him more tomorrow than I do today. Yes, I am one of those ladies who is madly in love with her husband. Of course that is what I want for my daughter. I am certain if you asked my mom years ago which path she would advise me to follow she would choose love as well.
I grew up knowing that my parents loved each other and while sometimes money was tight the love was always there. If you marry for money what happens if the money goes away?
I understand wishing your child may choose the money path though. Really what mom doesn’t want to see her child living comfortably and not stressing about money everyday of their life?
After thinking about it for a few days if these same friends posed this same question I think my answer would be different. Well maybe not so different but definitely more complicated. I think my advice for Maddy is this:
Marry for love, but please know there is a difference between like and love. Marry your very best friend. Marry the person you simply cannot see going a day without. Marry the person that respects you and treats you as an equal. After-all marriage is a team sport. Stick with the person who will wake up every day thankful he/she is waking up next to you. Be smart, and don’t rush. Love doesn’t happen the way it does in Disney movies. Love is work. It take patience, understanding, compromise and deep breaths. Lots and lots of deep breaths. Not everyday will be easy and that is okay. Please, please, please do not marry for money. You don’t need to. You can take care of and provide for yourself. But a partner you can trust with your deepest hopes, dreams and fears? That is priceless and should be treasured far above and beyond above all the dollar signs in the world.
What are your feelings on this? Am I being too mushy and not looking at this subject logically enough? Do you feel your children should marry for love or money/security?