I think it comes with the change of seasons.
It seems like every couple of months I have a desire to make changes in my life.
Sometimes it is changes like buying a new pair of shoes and starting a new hobby or learning something new. Sometimes it is bigger such as contemplating what I want to be when I grow up and all the places I want to travel to.
When last summer was coming upon us I researched going back to school for a second degree like nobodies business. It was all I thought about and if we asked Luke I am pretty sure he would tell you it was all I talked about. I think I took every career/personality test I could find and I checked out countless piles of books about choosing careers and majors.
Last Fall while trying to quench mt thirst for some “me” time I started a blog. This Blog. Evolving Mommy was started because I need a place for me, and because the seasons were changing so of course I needed to change along with them. Everyday I sat down to write in my little space. I made lists of possible post ideas, put together a notebook to keep all of my blogging things together, started thinking about taking HTML and CSS classes and found myself writing blog posts in my head about everything. Every. Single. Thing. Usually I forgot them before I could actually write them, which was probably for the best because I am pretty sure that they were all really lame.
I know that technically Spring has been here for a while, but it is actually starting to feel like Spring around here and I can feel those familiar feelings stirring inside of me. I am not sure what my focus is going to be this time around I never know until I have already started obsessing about it for a bit. Last spring we had just moved into our house and all I could think about was making my house a home.
Hmmm. Will it be landscaping the backyard, learning a language (after reading some of my previous posts I think I could probably benefit from some English lessons), becoming the Yogi I wish I could be, or will my vegetable garden rule all thoughts.
These quarterly urges to change have their place but usually I don’t end up changing anything. All I end up doing is questioning myself and feeling disjointed. I am happy in my life. I love my husband and daughter more than I can say, we live in a nice home in a good town. I have great friends and family. We are all healthy. I am happy, I just have trouble focusing and finishing thoughts. For example this post has taken me far to long to write. I keep starting sentences to get four words into and find out I have forgotten what it was that I was even trying to say.
I am wondering if there is a cure for my Restless Mind Syndrome. Usually it gradually fades away just in time for the next season change. I wish I knew what the triggers are, maybe then I could start to rope in my random seasonal obsessiveness.
