About 6 months ago Maddy’s over excitable mommy decided that she seemed ready to potty train, Maddy not her mommy, and so begins our adventure…
Madeline seemed so excited about her potty, peeing in her potty and wearing underwear so we dove right in and unfortunately appearances can be deceiving and we essentially jumped the gun. Luke and I decided that instead of pushing it on Maddy and making things harder and more stressful on everyone we would drop the whole thing for a bit and let Maddy take the lead.
As a result for the last 4 months or so we have only talked about potty related things when Madeline brought it up first, we have encouraged using the potty only when Madeline has already decided to go and we have worked to be as patient as possible. Yes she is about a month shy of 2 1/2 but that doesn’t mean that she is behind or slow, it just means that she is making her own way.
I have a confession and I really need to get this off my chest but I need you to promise that you will not tell Maddy.
Okay here goes, I am cool with letting Madeline make her own way but while I would rank peeing in diapers over peeing on my floors as more convenient for me I am over changing diapers all day long. No matter how much I love our cloth diapers I am also pretty over washing them.
Actually I am over all this diaper mumbo jumbo as a whole. Mommy is ready for a potty trained girl. BUT, and this is a big but, we are really trying to have Maddy take the lead here, because no matter how ready I am if she isn’t ready then it won’t happen. I have already learned that lesson.
I bring all of this up because in the past month or so she has been consistently telling me when she poops or pees in her diaper and asks to be changed, she has also started the interesting habit of hiding behind the curtain to do her business.
This is interesting because it means she is starting to understand what her body is doing before it does it. I have come to the conclusion that she understands her body’s cues because on several occasions I have seen her drop whatever she is doing and race to the curtains to do her business. Also this curtain activity makes me think she likes a little privacy, you know privacy like a bathroom could afford her. I’m working on redirecting her to at least stand in the bathroom instead of behind a curtain.
She has also stripped off her pants and diaper a few times to go potty on her own without prompting. This usually happens when our buddy Boo is also around and using the potty, but either way it shows an understanding and desire, right? I should say that she isn’t always every interested in the potty, but her interest seems to be growing lately.
So I told Luke I was thinking about letting Maddy have some pant-less time just so she can feel what is happening a little more and to maybe get her thinking about peeing in the potty more since she would be without her diaper safety net.
Our conversation went like this:
Me: “So I was thinking about letting Maddy go without her pants and diaper more to encourage her to use the potty.”
Luke: “Where would she be going pant-less? Somewhere other than our home would be best so that she doesn’t pee all over our floor.”
Me: (said with complete sarcasm) “Um, yeah I was going to take our pantsless daughter to the mall or the grocery store so she doesn’t pee on our carpet.”
Luke: “That’s a great idea, we’ll take her to the grocery store and when she has an accident we’ll just shout ‘clean up on aisle 3!’ and then run. We’ll never have to clean up a pee mess again!”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen I married that man.
By the time he finished his thought we were both cracking up envisioning us running from grocery store employees armed with wet mops and paper towels while simultaneously potty training our daughter.
Since potty training our daughter in the grocery store is obviously not an option I have some questions for you, because you, the Evolving Mommy readers, are the smartest people I know, or don’t know for that matter.
I would really like to encourage her to use the potty, but in a way that isn’t forceful or stressful for either of us, I still want Maddy to feel like she’s the one in the driver seat. I have a very, very smart daughter but she has a fiercely stubborn and independent streak in her just like her mother, so I think the best way is to make her feel like she is in control. Or at least create the illusion of control.
I would love your suggestions, tips and tricks. I would also love to hear what was successful for you and what were complete failures. Did you use M&M’s? Maybe you went out and got one of those dolls that pees. Was your child the neighborhood streaker for a while? It may even be possible that you think my husband is a genius and we should potty train Madeline in the local King Soopers store.
If you have posted about potty training feel free to leave the link to your post in your comment. I’m in information gathering mode.
I know that a potty trained toddler doesn’t mean the end of dirty diapers, but it would mean a smaller pile, right?
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12 comments
Yay! Potty training! I have a many helpful articles on my blog, but a great way to start is by throwing a potty party. You can make it as small or big as you want. http://babysignswithelizabeth.blogspot.com/2009/03/how-to-throw-potty-party.html
Keep it positive and fun!
actually, i kind of like your husband's idea! can you imagine??
i think it is worth a shot. i agree that it sounds like she definitely has it (sort of) figured out.
Kids crack me up. I think, they think that if they can't see you… you can't see them. That pic of Maddy in the draperies is hilarious.
Oh, the good old potty training days.
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Elizabeth, A potty party, huh? I'll have to check that out.
Deb, I can imagine that it would be be hilarious and frightening all at the same time!
JAM, She totally thinks that if she can't see me I can't see her. What a nut!
Your conversation with Luke had me and my husband laughing. I love the picture of Maddy all wrapped up in the curtain with her little feet sticking out too!
We are working on potty training in our house right now too. I didn't push it for a long time because he would scream if I put him on the potty. It didn't seem like a good idea to push that. He now is going on the potty once or twice a day. I guess it is an inprovement.
Tonight he pooped on the potty. When I came upstairs with his potty treat (yeah, we use bribery) and he said "I have enormous poop on potty. Like elephant!". Nice!
I literally laughed out loud and you and Luke's conversation. Sounds exactly like a conversation Nate and I would have (if we had a 2 year old).
I could've totally written this same post when B was potty training. Potty training B still is pretty high up there on my list of difficult parenting tasks. Maybe only 2nd to transitioning from crib to toddler bed.
I was also gun-ho with B before 2 and he seemed very interested. His interest quickly waned and turned to stubborn opposition. At this point I backed off completely. He was in daycare by this point and they worked with him there too. Finally at 2 years 9 months the center director told me point blank, B's BFF would be moving up to the 3 year old class (he was 4 months older), and B was more than ready developmentally and emotionally he just needed to be more potty trained. She suggested going cold turkey putting him in underwear and never looking back, they did not care at daycare either, they were equipped to deal with lots of accidents. I had mixed results with B at 2 years 9 months. He was out of diapers yes and within a week or so down to about 1 daytime accident a day but daytime accidents persisted with him. When he was 3 having an accident was a fairly regular occurance. By 4 it was down to maybe once a week. I still have a 9 year old who wets the bed twice a month and a 7 year old that wets the bed 3 times a week. Needless to say potty training was not the easiest issue in our house. With the night time wetting I am not as concerned because I know it is out of their control. As long as they are making progress over time.
Each child is different though. Nate had both girls by himself when Wyn was that age and didn't do anything to potty train Wyn. He said a little after she turned 3 she told him she didn't wear diapers anymore, and has never had a single daytime or night time accident ever! Needless to say he was shocked when he went to potty train FiFi. Guess it was good I had the experience with B when he was going through it. People will tell you they had their kid potty trained at 18 months or 2 years which is great but potty training being easy is the exception not the rule so expect it to be difficult.
Maddy is a smart girl and I know you are more than ready for her to be potty trained but before you jump into it full force again maybe hold off awhile longer and continue to watch for her clues while encouragaing any progress she makes. No one says it has to be an all or nothing approach but as she gets older at some point you will want to draw the line and push forward for your own sanity just make sure it is the right time for her.
Love you!
Nate's guide to potty training:
1) Don't do anything at all.
2) When your kid tells you that they don't wear diapers anymore, don't put them in diapers anymore.
3) Done. (if they do for some reason have any accidents after this mostly foolproof method then you just make them clean up after themselves.)
I pretty much apply this method to everything. Whenever my kids want to do something then I make sure they get all the responsibility that goes along with it. Sink or swim. If you're consistent then kids figure it out pretty quick and start to recognize the natural consequences that go along with things. (like if i poop my pants i have to clean up my poop.)
If you want to hurry her along to getting to step 2 on her own then I suggest making her carry her own diaper bag around until she gets tired of hauling her own diapers everywhere she goes. I made Fifi carry her own diaper bag everywhere. Michelle thinks I'm mean but I'm just preparing my kids for the realities of life.
I think that you are on the right track. Truth be told, I can't give any advice. Potty training scares me and I am avoiding it right now. 😉
Aargh we are at the same point. Little One knows when he is going he tells me. But we put him on the potty and he holds it till he is allowed off and gets a "cween diaper". He will come and ask for me to change him. We did all the excitement of decorating the potty, picking out big boy undies etc. Didn't work!! Little One sounds like M though, he does things in his own time and will get stubborn about it if you try and push. I am giving him a few more months to see if he comes up with it on his own. HERES HOPING!!!
Michelle and Nate- I love you guys. Michelle, I remember all the trouble you had with B. We are taking our time with Maddy and totally letting her call the shots… if she wants underwear she gets underwear if she wants a diaper she wears a diapers. Nate, I laughed through your comment and then read it to Luke and he basically said "Exactly, Nate is exactly right!"
Jen, I think potty training scares us all. At least it scares me.
Everyday Mom- Maybe we should start a support group for each other? It will happen when they are ready, or at least that is what I keep telling myself…over and over and over!
M will tell you when she is ready and then she will no longer give you any cute curtain pictures.