I’m Leaving Miserable Out of it

At 32 weeks pregnant I am officially entering the uncomfortable phase of pregnancy. The phase where a pregnant woman spends more time getting out of bed at night to visit the restroom than actually sleeping. Or sitting in the same position for too long is not an option as a the growing baby and uterus inside your rapidly expanding body requires that you shift and move constantly.

Here’s the thing though, I’m in the uncomfortable phase but I refuse to enter the miserable phase. While I might share with Luke or a friend that I didn’t sleep well the night before or that vacuuming the stairs is exhausting I refuse to complain. I refuse to see these feelings as bad. Maybe because Maddy is somehow already on the cusp of becoming a kindergartner. Maybe because I spent so much time obsessively preparing for Maddy’s arrival that I feel I might have forgotten to be present while pregnant with her. I know that this growing baby inside of me is only there for a finite amount of time. I am very aware that soon she’ll be here and while I can’t tell you how excited I am to hold her I know that once she is here I will never again feel her kicks and bouts of hiccups inside of me. So instead of rushing to get to the birth finish line -wishing away these last weeks because of the minor discomforts and stressing over preparing every single thing – I’m trying to be present. Yeah I like getting a full nights sleep, but those frequent nighttime interruptions for bathroom breaks are a reminder that my body is changing and my baby is growing. All those less than lovely aspects of pregnancy can be a beautiful part of the process when I look at them through the my body is meant to grow a baby and that is just what it is doing filter.

So the plan is to leave the I’m so miserable point of view out of the rotation. If your wondering, yes I’m feeling large but in a perfectly good and healthy way. And yes I am a little worn out after a simple trip to the grocery store, but I know that’s because my body is already working hard to support a sweet baby. And the all too frequent trips to the bathroom? I’m just looking at those as a chance to take a seat and have a little rest throughout the day.

This much happier face is here to stay. Unless I am napping, and then I probably won’t be smiling. I’ll probably be drooling.