Two weeks ago I threw a question out into the internet. Hoping to start some discussion and take a peak into your thoughts.A question of the week, that turned into a question of two weeks. I haven’t forgotten about my promise to answer that very same question. I’ve been stewing and contemplating and trying to figure out how to say what is on my mind and in my heart about this subject.
I have had friendships that seem to float along through time almost as though they have a life of their own. The closeness is always there. Neither side feels neglected if the other doesn’t call for a while. The commitment and love is obvious. The relationship is more that of an old married couple. Comfortable. Easy. Patient.
I have had friendships that play out more like a young couple dating. The love and commitment to each other is constantly being proven or almost demanded. Usually these friendships, while intense and good, run their course and fizzle out. Or sometimes go out with a bang.
I have had friendships that drive me crazy and friendships that make me feel like I am walking on air. Almost glowing inside. Some friendships have lasted years upon years and years while some do not.
In a nut shell I think I have run the gamut in the types of friends category of life.
Friendships take some effort, equal effort. Friendships can have their hard moments. Bumps in road are to be expected but, and I do not say this lightly, there comes a time when I think it is okay to let go of a friendship. Not in a harsh or mean way, not in a way that burns bridges. I am not the same person I was at 12, 16, or even 21 years old. I know and accept that change. Because a friendship flourished in middle school does not mean it will continue to flourish as both parties grow and mature.
I am in no way advocating ending a friendship all willy nilly and on a whim. I am not actually advocating ending friendships in a dead end “it’s over” kind of way either. Ending is a little too final a term for a friendship. I’m advocating knowing what is right for you and going with that. Friendships should ultimately make you happy and feel good.
Obviously they won’t make you feel happy all the time. I know and accept that, but when a friendship reaches a point that it is a constant uphill battle with no end in sight it is, in my opinion, okay to reevaluate and ask yourself if this friendship is doing good things for both sides and if there is likely to be a better time in the future. If not then isn’t it okay to care for someone while letting your relationship with them fade? Wouldn’t this open room fro new relationships or both people that may prove more fulfilling, happy and up lifting?
Not every friendship is going to last a lifetime. It is a reality.
That is just my 2 cents. What do you think? You are welcome and encouraged agree or disagree with me in the comment section. Just be respectful of each other.
3 comments
Hi Everyone,
This is one of those conversations about the elephant in the room which people may have some trouble talking about.
Here is one fact in life “we change and our friends change”. I have been blessed to have some very special friends in my life. I will cherish these friendships even if they were long or short because they help to build the person I am today, and to build the people that they are today. We are all meant to impact each other.
Just think about it… on two levels – Even if a wonderful friendship ended today the time you spent together was precious and may never come back, but it had an impact. The other level is that although we both change we still have the capacity to re-grow those friends ship in the future, a future in which both parties are older and wiser.
*Always have the ability to love and to be loved this makes for an awesome friendship.
Take care and thanks for listening to my thoughts. Friends :)!
Regards,
Donna
Great post.
I agree with you, friendships come and go. Some last for a while and some are just for a couple days. You just never know. I think that you are really lucky if you can find a lifetime friend. To be honest, this is something that I long for.
I too have ran the gamut of friendships. Some have come real easy and some I have struggled with. One ‘friend’ stabbed me in the back but we worked it out it was never an easy friendship after that. Just thinking about this subject now though I can honestly say I have never dismissed a friendship some have ended and I am saddened at the lack of effort I put in to maintaining them. One thing I know for sure is that any of my past friendships could be revived with a little effort from either side. I never left a friendship in anger so I know that if I bumped in to that person someday we could resume where we left off. That makes me feel good.