Last night Luke came home and I had not planned dinner. Bad Catherine.
Okay not Bad Catherine. More like oops Catherine you should have thought about what you were going to feed your family but instead you played with your daughter and read her a big pile of books.
So instead of waiting for me to defrost some chicken and figure out a meal Luke suggested dinner out at a little local place. We try to support local restaurants whenever we can. He likes this particular restaurant because it is fairly quick and inexpensive, and he likes the food. I think the food is, well, okay. I would have rather eaten somewhere else but, since I didn’t really feel like cooking I gave in and went with his choice. I’m a good wife like that.
When we arrived at the restaurant there were only a few tables worth of people spread throughout the place. The lone waitress tossed some menus in our direction and we sat ourselves over in table in the corner. It was surrounded on two sides by windows so we thought it would be a good place to keep Maddy entertained. We actually hit the jackpot and right after ordering our food a huge train went by which Maddy happily watched through the window for a while. Later in the meal as Maddy’s apple juice sugar high was kicking in Luke was able to use the window again to have her watch for different colored cars that drove by.
At one point while ordering our meal my sweet and very observant 3 year old girl decided to very loudly point out our waitresses eyebrows. I for one had already noticed said eyebrows. They were, um, drawn on. In a very, well, angular shape. With a very heavy and precise hand. They were impressive in a “wow how did she get those thick dark brown stripes to match so perfectly?” kind of way. So as this young girl, probably about 25, stood there at the side of our little square table taking our order she heard this:
“Whoa. Mommy Look at her eyebrows!”
“Yes, honey I saw. Her make-up is very nice!” (insert please stop talking tone and look here)
“No, Mommy, Mommy, look! Look at her eyebrows!” (said with pointing and lots of excitement)
“Maddy, I saw her nice make-up.” (Full on embarrassment has set in)
“Daddy. Did you see? Daddy, Look at her eyebrows” (To which Luke totally ignores because he is so focused on ordering a plate of food and leaves me to continue doing damage control and redirection)
“Maddy, Honey, We all saw her pretty make-up. No please stop yelling. You’re talking in and awfully loud voice.” (Wondering to myself how else can I possibly spin this so our waitress won’t spit in our food)
The look on this poor girls face gave away that she heard everything Maddy was practically yelling across our small table. I think the whole thing had her so flustered she forgot to bring us our chips, or maybe that was payback for a our obnoxious 3 year old.
When she walked away from the table the topic didn’t end. Maddy was fascinated by the thick pointy lines across this woman’s forehead. She also commented on her pink shirt and her pink eyeshadow. Pink is Maddy’s favorite color. So I told Maddy to tell the woman she liked her pink shirt and her pink make-up the next time she came to our table. I figured getting a complement would be good damage control. And it might have been if Maddy had actually done it, but she didn’t. I’m pretty sure even if we wanted to go back to said hole in the wall restaurant again we wouldn’t be able to show our faces anyway.
Then Maddy promptly pointed at an elderly woman a few tables over and shouted, “Mom, Dad, look at that old lady. She’s in a Stroller! She is toooo old for a stroller. She should walk like a big girl and sit in a big girl seat at the table.” The food wasn’t great but the meal was anything but dull.
Yeah, we have officially entered the awkward when in public phase. Which means I have two options, get used to stumbling through apologies to random strangers or stay home until she is 12.
So how do you deal with awkward social situations with your children?